NYPost A woman in Bolivia was bound to a tree by angry villagers — and then sentenced to death by fire ants — after being mistaken for a car thief, a report says. The falsely accused 52-year-old died in a local hospital from breathing problems caused by severe throat swelling after being repeatedly bitten and stung by the insects in the Bolivian city of Caranavi, roughly 100 miles northeast of the capital, La Paz, according to the Daily Mail. Her two children also received the same punishment, but managed to survive the ordeal. “It’s probable that the ants bit the victim’s windpipe, which caused an inflammation and meant she wasn’t able to breathe,” said the family’s lawyer, Roxana Bustillos. Police officials said the woman had traveled to Caranavi from La Paz to recover a debt and had been accused of swiping a vehicle, along with her kids. What began as a grand theft auto investigation eventually turned into a murder probe, though, after it was revealed that the woman was innocent and that her attackers had been incited by an enraged local, who was later arrested. “Initially the investigation was opened as a probe into an attempted car theft but now it has been changed to a murder and serious assault investigation,” said police chief Gunter Agudo. The trio was reportedly strapped down and tied to a mystical local tree known as a “Palo Santo” — which grows on the coast of South America and is infamous for its Brazilian fire ant colonies. “We managed to rescue all three people but one of them, the 52-year-old woman, was in a bad way and had to be taken to hospital,” Agudo said, adding that she died on New Years Eve. The nephew of the woman who died later described on Facebook how he hoped justice would be served and that those responsible would be punished. “My family is suffering the loss of my beloved aunt,” he wrote. “I hope the courts clarify what’s happened because they’ve left my cousins orphans.”

Cancel your family vacation to Bolivia. A woman who was falsely accused of being a car thief was tied to a tree that housed a colony of Brazilian fire ants, she was bitten repeatedly by the fire ants including in the throat, which caused her throat to swell shut and she died of asphyxiation. I think that I would honestly rather be dragged underwater by a large crocodile, and endured 30 seconds of hell before drowning and being eaten, than suffering as hundreds of small ants painfully bit me repeatedly including in the throat which eventually caused me to suffocate. Hey Bolivia it’s 2017, enough with these primitive tourtute punishments. Google “how to punish a car thief” and hit them with a fine and maybe a little jail time, then maybe Google “cruel and unusual punishment”. The punishment does not fit the crime, even if this car is the only car in the entire village, nobody was ever tortured to death by fire ants in Gone In 60 Seconds which I’m sure has been released in Bolivia by now.

For all of my fellow Americans who constantly screwm about all of the problems and issues in America, and demand that America becomes more progressive like the rest of the world, I invite you to take a vacation to Bolivia. And while you’re there, steal a car.

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