NYDailyNews Michael Lester phoned 911 on New Year’s Eve just before 9 p.m. to report himself for driving under the influence. The 39-year-old told the dispatcher he was driving drunk “all over Winter Haven” and that “he needed to be pulled over,” according to a release from the Polk County Sheriff’s Office. When the dispatcher requested his location he replied: “I dunno. I’m drunk. I’ don’t know where I’m at.” In a recording of the 911 call released by the sheriff’s office Friday, the dispatcher repeatedly asks him to pull over and battles to get more details on Lester’s location. The caller manages to tell her he’s “driving on the wrong side of the road” somewhere near a Publix. “I think I’m going to get something to eat,” Lester says. “They can catch up with me.” Officers managed to track down Lester, who admitted to having several beers and mistakenly swallowing meth rather than smoking it. He also said he hadn’t slept in the past four days. “DUI is not a laughing matter,” the Polk County Sheriff’s Department wrote in a tongue-in-cheek Facebook post. “However … in this particular incident, nobody was hurt, so we couldn’t help but LOTO (that means we Laughed Our Tasers Off.)” Lester — who has a criminal history that includes DUI, aggravated battery, drug possession, disorderly conduct, resisting and hit and run — was jailed on a DUI charge, according to police. The sheriff’s office also noted Lester had been their 30th DUI arrest in the month of December. “Special thanks to Michael Lester, for throwing himself under the bus for #30 (we love round numbers),” the officers wrote. “At least Michael wasn’t involved in a crash, and lived to see another day (and maybe he’ll see this Facebook post too. Hi, Michael!)”
A Florida man named Michael Lester was driving drunk on New Years Eve, in fact he was so drunk while driving that he decided to call police, and report himself for drunk driving. Michael Lester was too intoxicated to tell police where he was, but he refused to pull his car over, he told the dispatcher that he was going to get something to eat and officers could catch up with him there. Police did catch up to Michael Lester, who admitted to drinking several beers, and accidentally eating meth instead of smoking it. This is the first hilarious arrest story of 2018, unless you were on the road in Winter Haven, Florida on New Years Eve, in which case you are probably just realizing this idiot put your life in danger that night.
Only in Florida:
This concludes another chapter of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Most Fucked Up State” for more, click the ““Fucking Florida” tag on this page.