WBAY A Marshfield man is behind bars after police say he was locked inside a beer cooler at a convenience store, had several drinks, and then fled. Jeremy Van Ert, 38, was charged with retail theft and is currently behind bars on a probation hold. Authorities said Van Ert walked inside the Marshfield Kwik Trip on Central Avenue on Tuesday night, before midnight. They said the man was automatically locked inside when the clock hit midnight. “The subject found himself locked in the beer cooler, knew that Kwik Trip would not sell him any beer, so he decided to remain in the beer cooler,” said Marshfield Police Chief Rick Gramza. “A customer came by the beer cooler at about 6 a.m. and saw him inside.” According to the police report, Van Ert drank an 18 ounce bottle of Icehouse Beer and three cans of Four Loko. He also fell over a stack of 30 pack Busch Light Cans. “This is unique, I’ve been here twenty years. I’ve heard of people being locked inside of buildings, never inside of a beer cooler,” Gramza said. Van Ert fled the scene and was later arrested by police. Gramza said Van Ert is currently in the Wood County Jail on a probation hold from an unrelated case. That probation required him to remain sober. Kwik Trip officials told police they will be reviewing their security.
We do not throw the term “hero” around loosely here at SportSmasher.com, but as heavy drinkers, we know a hall Of Fame level alcoholic when we see one and Jeremy Van Ert is an heroic alcoholic. When Jeremy Van Ert entered the walk in beer cooler of a Wisconsin convenience store shortly before midnight, he became automatically locked inside at midnight, so Jeremy Van Ert just started drinking. Jeremy Van Ert drank 18 ounces of Icehouse, then three Four Lokos, and was so hammered he fell and knocked over a stack of Busch Light 30 packs. He’s lucky he did not become trapped under the collapsing Busch Light 30 pack tower, because a hero like Jeremy Van Ert would have escaped, by drinking his way out. Jeremy Van Ert was arrested for helping himself to booze when he was locked inside a beer cooler, and any of us drinkers would have done the exact same thing, so we here at SportSmasher.com are shouting from the mountaintops FREE JEREMY VAN ERT!