WTVR A Maryland man is facing attempted murder charges after an argument over a grilled cheese sandwich sparked an hours-long stand-off with police Sunday. Police say Daniel Brian Blackwell, 55, fired multiple rounds through his basement floor after he became angry when his wife took a bite out of his grilled cheese sandwich. Detectives say the 55-year-old fired his gun at her through the basement floor while she was making dinner. When his wife went to check on him she found Blackwell surrounded by guns and ammunition. “Soon after, the wife heard three more gunshots, the projectiles of which came through the kitchen floor near where she was standing,” Baltimore County Police said in a press release. When police arrived, Blackwell barricaded himself in the home for a three-hour-long stand-off. He ultimately peacefully surrendered. “Right now we don’t know if there were any mental issues or if that was alcohol or drugs involved,” said Baltimore County Officer Shawn Vinson. “And the man will be taken to a local hospital for an evaluation to see why this enraged him so much about this grilled cheese sandwich.” Blackwell has been charged with attempted first degree murder, assault, reckless endangerment and multiple other charges.
Daniel Brian Blackwell must really love grilled cheese, so much so that when someone took a bite out of his grilled cheese sandwich, he attempted to murder his whole family. When Daniel Brian Blackwell discovered that someone had snuck a bite of his grilled cheese while he had his back turned, he went to his basement and began firing shots through the floor, nearly striking his wife and daughter. I do not understand why Daniel Brian Blackwell, because if you ask me, grilled cheese sucks. I know you get those people who argue that “when you have the flu, and you eat a grilled cheese with a bowl of tomato soup, it’s just perfect.” Well I’m here to tell you that your wrong, and there is nothing good about a sandwich that is only delicious when you are deathly ill, grilled cheese is on the bottom of the sandwich power rankings. There is nothing to it, just bread and cheese, a good sandwich has to have substance and flavor. For example, if you take a bite out of my Reuben sandwich, I will shoot you. A Reuben is the perfect sandwich, and if you take a bite from someone’s Reuben and get killed for it, that’s a justifiable homicide. However, of you take a bite of my grilled cheese, I will shrug and look in the fridge for something better. Or order a Reuben. Excuse me, I’m hungry, I’m going to get a Reuben.