Tallahassee A 59-year-old homeless man faces arson charges after police say he lit his underwear on fire in the bathroom of a bustling Tennessee Street Starbucks. Minutes after Randall Sullivan entered the bathroom Tuesday evening, employees noticed the smell of smoke wafting through the coffee shop. A barista told Tallahassee Police she saw him enter the bathroom where he remained for a long time. When she checked on him, he was leaving the bathroom. The employee found smoldering pair of underwear on the floor amidst the busy coffee shop. Police already in the parking lot were alerted and Sullivan was taken into custody. Officers found a lighter in his pocket, court records say.
When you read a news story about a wacky crime in Florida, which happens regularly, at least there is normally a purpose behind the crime. Not in this case, a homeless man named Randall Sullivan was arrested on arson charges after he entered the bathroom of a Starbucks, then removed his underwear and set them on fire. Was Randall Sullivan trying to burn down the Starbucks, and was hoping that his soiled underpants were flammable enough to ignite an inferno? Were Randall Sullivan’s underpants wet, and he was trying to roast them over an open flame, in order to dry them out? Maybe this was a form of protest against big coffee, of course we have heard of burning bras in protest, but burning underpants is just ridiculous. Or maybe this is all a misunderstanding and Randall Sullivan’s underpants spontaneously combusted. There is a chance that Randall Carson just told a lie, and as a “liar, liar” he had no choice, but to set his pants on fire.
Only in Florida:
This concludes another chapter of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Most Fucked Up State” for more, click the ““Fucking Florida” tag on this page.