DailyMail He weighs 95kg, sports a ripped ear and has biceps to rival any champion bodybuilder. ‘Dave’ the giant, thuggish-looking kangaroo has stunned residents of a quiet suburban Brisbane neighbourhood after he has been spotted boldly wandering the streets over the past week. The intimidatingly muscly two-metre tall kangaroo made international headlines after North Lakes local Linda Hellyer posted a video of him online when she encountered him on a footpath while walking her dogs. ‘I looked up and he was standing the middle of the road,’ Ms Hellyer told Daily Mail Australia. ‘He was watching me and my dogs and they were watching him. I didn’t get too close but I took a quick photo and video and left him alone. Ms Hellyer has seen the kangaroo – which has been nicknamed ‘Dave’ by staff at the local golf course – in the area before but never on a footpath. ‘We have a whole mob of roos from the area… that’s where they were living we’ve just developed around them and now they haven’t got a massive amount of room,’ she said. ‘So they spend a lot of time around the golf courses and parks.’ Ms Hellyer said she had seen similar large kangaroos in the bush but not in a residential area. ‘It’s just the fact you don’t usually see them hopping down pathways of a suburban area, I think that’s why everyone is so impressed that he’s such a big kangaroo,’ she said. ‘I was raised in the bush in northern New South Wales and we raised an orphan joey and released it back into the wild. ‘There was a mob of kangaroos and there was a big buck like that.’ And while the giant kangaroo looks dangerous with his massive arm muscles and ripped ear, Ms Hellyer said she felt safe so long as she kept her distance. ‘If we got too close to them they’d have the opportunity to hurt you,’ she said. ‘But they’re quite accustomed to seeing people and seeing dogs because we haven’t been pestering them. ‘They would be [dangerous] if you got too close, like anything else, but if you keep your distance they’re OK.’ She added that she hoped no one would try to get too friendly with him now he has become a local celebrity. ‘I hope that everyone gives him enough space,’ she said. ‘Hopefully next week be goes out and tries to get a selfie because he could really hurt you if wanted to. ‘But he’s pretty happy by himself on a golf course.’ North Lakes local Allan James told channel Seven News last week that he has seen the giant animal wandering around the area several times. ‘It’s a big one, it is a big roo and I’m used to animals from out in the west and it is a big roo.’ Concerns for the welfare of kangaroos in the area was raised earlier this year, when reports were made of kangaroos getting trapped behind the fences of a construction site in the fast-growing suburb, calling for dedicated wildlife havens in and around North Lakes.
We are fresh out of Memorial Day Weekend here in the United States, and it’s clear that “Dave” the kangaroo has been pumping iron all day long, as he gets ready for beach season. Sun’s out guns out, Dave! After all of the illegal supplements that Dave has taken and the countless hours that he spent in the gym working glamor muscles this winter (all biceps, chest and triceps), the hard work is going to pay off, because Dave is hitting Jenkinson’s in a Point Pleasant, New Jersey this Saturday night sporting a fresh new haircut and looking to get laid.
If Dave was going to fight MMA, he could fight in his more natural 205lb weight class as a light heavyweight, but might be better served cutting down to the 185lbs division where Dave could use his strength and size to his advantage at middleweight.
Honestly, jacked up animals are some of my favorite news stories on the Internet, who is more yoked “Dave” the kangaroo or this hairless chimp?