Huffington Post A vicious monkey attack at a wildlife park in Guiyang, China, maimed an 8-month-old boy, according to Chinese state media. The boy’s mother was changing his dirty diaper at Guiyang Qianling Wildlife Park, where monkeys roam free. The animal reportedly attacked the boy, tearing off his testicle and dropping it. According to the Mirror, a man recovered the testicle, but the monkey then “snatched it from his hand before scampering away and eating it.” There is conflicting information about the attack. The Daily Mail reported that both of the boy’s testicles were torn off, but that only one was eaten by the monkey. The boy has been hospitalized. Though disfiguring, his injuries are not believed to be life-threatening.
This is actually common during monkey and ape attacks, the animal goes right for a human’s reproductive organs, because they think of the human as another dominant male monkey infringing on their territory and trying to mate with their females. What’s the easiest way to keep another man from trying to mate with your woman in the animal kingdom? To neuter him.
Its an awful start to life for this poor little kid though, hopefully both of his testicles were not torn off in the attack, so this kid can reproduce later on life. It is going to be terrible explaining to his first girlfriend that a monkey tore off and ate his testicles, and it probably would be a good idea to move, so he is not known as “The Kid Who’s Balls Got Eaten By A Monkey” growing up.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go find my balls, which I think crawled into my stomach in fear while I wrote this article. Blogging can be traumatic.