The Smoking Gun JUNE 21–A Florida man allegedly struck his disabled father several times on the head during an argument about how to make Kool-Aid, police report. Brandon Antron Crosley, 22, was arrested Wednesday following the violent confrontation in the Cocoa apartment he shares with his father Greg. According to a Cocoa Police Department report, Crosley fled the residence after attacking his kin, who was hit “two or three times in the head.” Crosley, seen in the adjacent mug shot, was subsequently apprehended at a neighboring apartment. Greg Crosley, 48, told a cop that his son “was making Kool-Aid and was doing it wrong,” so he “attempted to give Brandon advice on how to properly prepare the drink.” The ensuing “verbal altercation,” an investigator noted, “became physical when Brandon began to punch Greg in the head with closed fist.” The police report does not specify how Crosley was improperly preparing the Kool-Aid. The elder Crosley told an officer that he has been permanently disabled since a 2004 auto accident, and needs a cane when he walks. Brandon Crosley was charged with felony domestic violence and booked into the Brevard County jail, where he is being held in lieu of $1000. He is scheduled for a July 18 arraignment in Circuit Court.
How many ways are there to make Kool-Aid? You get water, you dump in Kool-Aid mix, you dump in a cup of sugar and you stir. It’s not rocket science, it takes less than ten seconds to make, and its impossible to screw up. If an old disabled man told me I was making Kool-Aid wrong, I would probably punch him in the face a few times too, there is no way to screw up Kool-Aid. Unless, of course Brandon Crosley was using too much water and the Kool-Aid was watered down and disgusting. Then the old man was right. I need more details in this case before I reach a final verdict, how was Brandon Crosley screwing up the Kool-Aid?
Thus concludes another chapter of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Most Fucked Up State” for more, click the “Fucking Florida” tag on this page.