Orlando Sentinel Thomas Edwards Jr, 22-years-old, had a run-in with several Casselberry police officers after a homeowner called 911 to say a man had knocked on his door and was stripping down on his back porch. When officers arrived about 3:45 a.m., an arrest report said, Edwards was “completely naked.” They told him to put his boxers back on. Edwards, who said his name was “Zim,” told officers his girlfriend invited him over so that he could propose to her. She wanted him to strip down, he said. Edwards told police “he just wanted to go to jail” and asked if head-butting an officer would get him there. “I told him not to try it,” one of the responding officers reported. Edwards then told the officer he would spit in his face. “I again told him not to try it,” the officer stated. Not long after, Edwards stood up and walked toward the officer, who told him to sit back down. Edwards then spat in the officer’s face, the report said. Another officer tased Edwards in the left hip and thigh. Edwards fell, scraping his knee and foot on the driveway. He rolled over and pulled the taser prongs out. Edwards didn’t get to propose to his girlfriend that morning, but he did get what he asked for: a trip to jail. The Maitland man was arrested on charges of indecent exposure in public, battery on an officer and burglary.
This is the wedding proposal every lite girl dreams of, it’s just like Prince Charming riding up on a white stallion, grabbing your hand and riding into the sunset. Except Prince Charming is naked, spitting on police officers, then getting tased and thrown in the back of a white cop car. Hey Thomas Edwards Jr, I know you wanted to go to jail, and stripping naked on someone’s porch at 3:45am was probably going to be enough. I think that spitting in a cop’s face was unnecessary, you were well on your way, and could have even avoided a painful tasing. You were naked dude, if that taser hit you in your cock or balls, it may have shut down production of the next generation for good.
Thus concludes another chapter of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Most Fucked Up State” for more, click the “Fucking Florida” tag on this page.