New York Post Does Derek Jeter really think no one at this Starbucks knows who he is? The Yankee shortstop was spotted yesterday leaving one of the coffee chain’s locations in Greenwich Village with a cup suspiciously marked with the name “Philip.” Without his pinstripes, the Yankee captain may have been trying to go incognito as he picked up a cup of joe. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s operated under an alias. In 2007, The Smoking Gun Web site published a bill that showed the currently injured baseball star used the pseudonym “Johnny Drama” — an apparent reference to the HBO show “Entourage” — to check into a Seattle hotel with his teammates. Also listed on the hotel tab were Bruce Almighty (then-coach Don Mattingly) and Ricky Ricardo (Jorge Posada). Johnny Drama, of course, may not fit well on a coffee cup. Instead, Jeter might be using names based on a rotating cast of Yankee Hall of Famers — and yesterday could have been the turn of late Bomber shortstop Phil Rizzuto. Holy cow! Or, perhaps, Jeter was just a victim of the infamous spelling mistakes and mixups for which Starbucks baristas are so well known, there’s a blog about them. And there may be some lucky New Yorker named Philip walking around somewhere with a cup marked “Derek.”
See guys, sometimes being the most eligible bachelor in the capital city of of the world can even get taxing, sometimes you just want a coffee and don’t want to have to catch another blowjob while you wait. This is why Derek Jeter created that alter ego “Philip” he probably just got done banging his girlfriend “The Direct T.V. Genie” Hannah Davis (LINK) and wanted to get a pick-me-up to get his day started. Swimming in pussy is a great thing, but sometimes you need a break, you don’t want to drown in it.
P.S. I would use a strong name like “Gengis”. Say it with a straight face, command respect. Maybe even pull out a map of Asia and start drawing X’s through countries while I wait.
Or my porno name “Luke Warm”.