Huffington Post A woman from Immokalee, Fla., allegedly threw an 8-inch-long kitchen knife at her boyfriend after he farted in her face. Deborah Ann Burns, 37, told Collier County detectives that an argument ensued Tuesday night, while the two were watching TV, Naples Daily News reported. Burns says that her boyfriend purposely passed gas while walking by her on his way to the kitchen. When officers responded to a report of a possible stabbing, they found Burns’ boyfriend in front of his house, with cuts on his abdomen and left arm, according to a Collier County Sheriff’s Office arrest report sent to The Huffington Post.The victim told authorities that his stomach wound came when Burns and he were arguing in the kitchen over money. He said she threw the knife at him, left the house, but came back, and struck him in the arm with a stick. According to the report, the victim makes no mention of the alleged flatulence, but “continually stated if [Burns] returned he would kick her ass.” When detectives interviewed Burns, she allegedly asserted that her boyfriend became agitated and began yelling only after she confronted him about his fart. Burns was arrested following the incident and charged with aggravated battery. She remains in custody on a $50,000 bond.
Terrible etiquette by Deborah Ann Burns here. When someone farts in your face, you do not stab them and spend the rest of your life in jail, they might bleed out. Etiquette dictates that you get revenge. Put their hand in a bowl of warm water while they are sleeping, causing them to urinate on their girlfriend. Drop a shot of vodka in their beers one night, causing them to black out, and make an ass out of themselves. Then draw a dick on their face with a sharpie when they pass out. You don’t stab somebody for a fart, farts dissipate, and attempted murder charges do not.
P.S. Deborah Ann Burns looks like a female Lil’ Wayne.
Thus concludes another chapter of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Most Fucked Up State” For More, Click The “Fucking Florida” Tag On This Page.