FOX13. The Associação de Assistência às Pessoas com Cancer, a Brazilian nom-profit health organization raising awareness of all types of cancer, recently debuted it’s newest mascot, Señor Testiculo. Señor Testiculo, or Mr. Balls, is a modeled after a smiling pair of testicles, according to Gawker.com. The mascot recently posed with people of all ages for pictures at an event in Brazil. The hope of the mascot, presumably, is to raise awareness of testicular cancer and promote frequent self examinations. Testicular cancer kills several hundred men in the U.S. each year. Early detection is important, and the cancer has one of the highest survival rates of any solid tumor cancer.
I know that we need to raise awareness about testicular cancer, but I cannot support Señor Testiculo, because he is making me self conscious. I might spend the next 30 minutes just staring at my balls. Is this what horrified women think balls look like? Bucktoothed, googly eyed monsters who are covered in errant, patchy pubes? Not me. I run a tight ship down there. Señor Testiculo needs to learn the meaning of the word “Manscaping” and clean up his act. His unkempt appearance is giving testicles everywhere a bad name.
P.S. I’m pretty sure Señor Testiculo’ nose is a genital wart.