Huffington Post Florida police responding to a single-car crash Wednesday morning say they found a 34-year-old stoned on a combination of marijuana and formaldehyde, and dancing naked in the street in Orange County, the Orlando Sentinel reported. “The man, he was naked. Nothing on, I mean nothing,” witness Trudy Lane told CF News 13. “He had the music in the car playing real loud and he was whamming, whamming on the car, like he was beating to the sound of the music.” A Florida Highway Patrol trooper and two Orange County deputies were overwhelmed by chemical fumes coming from the cabin of Felix Lockett’s car, WFTV reported.”Upon entering the vehicle, they started feeling ill – nausea, headache, vomiting. A couple of other deputies were on scene to assist that trooper. All three were transported to the hospital,” Orange County Fire Department spokesman John Mulhall told the station. What made the cops retch was apparently what made Locket disrobe and bust a move. Officials determined that the offending chemical was formaldehyde. Lockett allegedly admitted that he had been smoking marijuana laced with the preservative found in many biology classes. According to CF News 13, Lockett has been charged with driving under the influence.
If this is the end result, remind me to never smoke formaldehyde. You are taking a pull off of a joint laced with the preservative, which smells disgusting if I remember the odor of dissecting fetal pigs in high school biology class correctly, when you crash your car. Instead of realizing that the cops are on their way and trying to cover up the scent and act normal, like you would if you were under the influence of weed or alcohol, you don’t panic. Instead, you realize that your jam is on, turn the radio up, strip naked and dance in the street. The formaldehyde stinks so badly that the responding officers get nauseas and everyone at the scene of the accident is forced to go to the hospital. Actually, the side effects don’t sound so bad, I’m going to try to score some formaldehyde in Washington Square Park after work.
Thus concludes another chapter of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Most Fucked Up State” for more, click the “Fucking Florida” tag on this page