Huffington Post Authorities credit sharks with helping to end a standoff between a stabbing suspect Paul Charles and law enforcement in Palm Beach, Fla. Palm Beach Fire Rescue spokesman James Weber told WBPF that Charles is believed to have “stabbed his girlfriend and his girlfriend’s new boyfriend in the chest” in Boca Raton at around noon Monday. Charles, who the Palm Beach Daily News reports is in his mid-20s, ran to Palm Beach, held a knife to his own chest and informed bystanders he was going to commit suicide. A four-hour standoff between Charles and police ensued, during about half of which the suspect was standing waist-deep in the ocean. By the end of the standoff, police believe the suspect may have been developing symptoms of hypothermia. However, officials say it wasn’t just the cops and the cold that finally convinced the man to surrender: the sharks helped, too. Multiple spinner sharks had been seen jumping in the water and began swimming closer when Charles “gained their attention,” Weber told WPBF. The two stabbing victims were taken to local hospitals, according to the Sun Sentinel, but no information on their condition has been released.
Paul Charles just stabbed two people. Why the hell would he run into the Atlantic Ocean? Your getaway options are very limited, I guess you could hope that some Cubans floated by and you could have stolen their bathtub/raft, then cruised to scenic Cuba and spent the rest of your days smoking cigars on the beach. If that doesn’t happen you’ve got cops on the beach and sharks in the water, you are screwed, and should have put the knife through your heart when you had a chance. The blood in the water would have ignited a shark feeding frenzy, your body would be eaten, and you would have died in the most badass way possible. Instead, you will spend the rest of your life in the showers of the Florida State Penitentiary, getting stabbed in the asshole instead of the chest with no sharks around to finish the job. Bad decision.
P.S. If I’m the cops in this situation I just start dumping chum in the water, that would have gotten Paul Charles out of the ocean real fast, Florida police should use their natural resources to their advantage. Sharks included.
Thus concludes another chapter of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Most Fucked Up State” for more click the “Fucking Florida” tag on this page.