Huffington Post An estimated 17,616 men went to the emergency room for “trouser zip injuries to the genitals” between 2002 and 2010, according to an article published this week in the Journal of the British Association of Urological Surgeons. Almost all of them had their penises stuck in their zippers, the paper found.The injury befell both men and boys. The Atlantic’s Alexis C. Madrigal insists there are other options, like button-fly pants out there for those who wish to avoid this particularly painful and embarrassing emergency. But, for those who are not especially coordinated, spending 45 minutes trying to button up your crotch in a public restroom is not an especially attractive option. There is at least some good news contained in the study, which found that “annual zip-related genital injury incidence remained stable over the study period,” so we’re likely not in the midst of a penis-trapped-in-zipper epidemic.If you or a loved one should ever find themselves afflicted by this injury, Dr. Steven M. Selbst, professor and vice chair of pediatrics at Jefferson Medical College, Philadelphia, offered his medical advice on PediatricNews.com. “I’ve done this many times. You want to just pour mineral oil all over the patient’s genitalia and the zipper,” Selbst said. “Be generous – that’s the key. This is pretty cheap stuff. Then let the patient sit there for 20 or 30 minutes. Pack him in a room somewhere. When you come back, the foreskin will have simply slipped out of that zipper, although in some cases you may need a cotton swab to help it along a bit.”
Men of the world, SportSmasher has an easy solution that can save your dicks and balls with two simple words, two powerful words that will guarantee your third leg is safe from the punishing bite of the jeans’ deadly zipper teeth. These two words are Boxer Briefs.
With boxer briefs, it is nearly impossible to accidentally zip up your Johnson, the elasticity keeps you tucked away nicely and out of harm’s way. With boxers, you could easily flop out of the dickhole and right into the jaws of death. Boxer briefs also keep you from the uncomfortableness and skid marks that come with your other option, tightie whities.
I implore all of the men of the world to go out and buy 10-15 good pairs of boxer briefs, not only are they the most comfortable men’s undergarment, but they may save you from an embarrassing trip to the hospital one day. On that day, you will thank me.
As a man who, as a teenager once took a zipper right to the sweet spot between the head and the shaft due to a loose fitting pair of boxers and some youthful carelessness, trust me.