Sun Sentinel For about six-months while Christopher Sharp and his girlfriend Randi were living together, Sharp told her he was a Pasco County Sheriff’s deputy, according to a news release from the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office. Sharp, 37, would come home from work wearing his deputy’s uniform and would tell Randi, along with her family and friends, about the events that happened on his shift. Sharp would even dish out legal advise to folks about such topics as child custody matters and avoiding a DUI arrest. He also would stop by the bar where his honey worked and offered legal advise to the patrons, the release stated. On New Year’s Eve, Randi was at a party at a friend’s home in Hernando Beach when Sharp arrived wearing his uniform and entertained guests with stories about DUI busts he had conducted earlier that night, deputies said. Real deputies said in reality Sharp worked at a local Pizza Hut and stole his deputy’s uniform from his sister’s boyfriend, who is a real Pasco County Sheriff’s deputy. On his way home from work he would allegedly stop and change into his deputy’s uniform. Sharp reportedly told authorities he became a fake cop to impress his girlfriend and knew what he was doing was wrong and illegal.
I’ve got to hand it to Christopher Sharp, he lied, but holy shit did he commit to his lie. It sounds like he met his girlfriend at the bar she worked at, lied and said he was a cop so he could bang her, then they started dating and things spiraled out of control. She started introducing him at parties as “my boyfriend, the cop” and he had to keep putting in the same uniform every day, so he could continue to bang this girl. They even moved in together and he kept up the act. He committed to the lie, he sold it for a long time, he got the girl. We give him credit for that.
Also, the girlfriend’s name is Randi with an “I” how smart can she be? Girls with names that end in “I” are usually either porn stars or strippers. Christopher Sharp probably could have salvaged this entire situation by saying “baby, I got fired because…I saved too many lives, and they wanted the other cops to have a chance to be the hero. I got a job at a pizza place for the time being, until NASA calls me back and I become an astronaut.”
Works. Every. Time.
Thus concludes another chapter of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Moat Fucked Up State” for more, click the “Fucking Florida” tag on this page.