MiamiHerald Police say a man killed his roommate during an argument over a missing corn dog. Anthony Kimball Smith, 56, died after he was stabbed once in the chest by a man 20 years his junior, police said. That man, Corey Lamont Walker, 36, was arrested on a second-degree murder charge. “It’s hard to imagine someone taking a life over something so trivial,” police spokesman Mike Puetz said. Both men lived at a St. Petersburg a transitional living residence run by New Faith Free Methodist Church. The pastor there could not be reached for comment.Authorities said someone called 911 around 9:45 a.m. Tuesday to report a stabbing at the home, where detectives said about four or five people lived. The caller said the attacker was still in the home and still armed with a knife. A neighbor described seeing a woman run into the street yelling for help. “I heard screaming and jumped up,” said Wayne Lindsay, 29, who lives next door. “The lady was standing in the middle of the street. She had stopped traffic.” Lindsay called 911. Emergency vehicles and police cruisers swarmed the area. He and other neighbors watched as paramedics brought an injured man out on a stretcher. “He looked pretty bad,” said neighbor Michael Booth, 56. “He had a lot of blood all over him.” Officers said they arrested Walker without incident. Two other residents were taken to the police station to be interviewed. Detectives said Walker told other residents food had been stolen from his room. “It appears that somebody pilfered a corn dog from him,” Puetz said. “He was the only one there with corn dogs.” At first, police said, Walker pointed the finger at a female friend of Smith’s who was at the home. Then he turned on his roommate, grabbing a butcher knife from the kitchen at some point. “They went back and forth, and that’s when the guy got stabbed,” Puetz said. Officers found a knife in the sink.
Corey Lamont Walker is going to prison for the rest of his life, because he stabbed his roommate to death over a missing corn dog, which was not worth it at all. Corn dogs are one of the grossest foods on planet earth, they are never cooked right, the batter is always too hot and the hot dog in the middle is always undercooked. I may sound un-American, but I hate corn dogs, they are terrible. Don’t get me wrong, I love a hot dog washed down by a tall Budweiser while listening to country music and screaming “MURIKA!!!” out the window of my Ford Pickup Truck on the 4th of July, but corn dogs are disgusting and not worth spilling blood over. I’ll kill a man over a lobster or steak right now, especially a steak stuffed with lobster, but not a cheap ass corn dog.
Side note: We both now that nobody ate that missing corn dog, right? Look at the shape of it. 100% chance that corn dog broke off up somebody’s ass during foreplay. Nobody wants to eat corn dogs, but they do quickly turn into a useful dildo in a pinch, so I guess they are good for something.
Thus concludes another chapter of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Most Fucked Up State” for more, click the “Fucking Florida” tag on this page.