SunSentinel On Monday Ronald Howard Jr. and his girlfriend Shalamar got into a feud about Ronald scratching his testicles while sitting on the couch of their Bradenton home, where they live as girlfriend and boyfriend. Shalamar allegedly had told Howard to stop the “rude and disgusting” behavior as she was about to eat dinner, according to an arrest affidavit from the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office. At that point, Shalamar told the deputy that Ronald got up from the couch and “started to get in her face,” yelling at her to “stop judging him,” the affidavit stated. She also told the deputy Howard then pushed her into the kitchen which caused her to fall to the ground and scrape her ankle before grabbing her and throwing her outside while telling her to “get the hell out,” according to the arrest report. Ron told the deputy the feud started when Shalamar punched him in the eye for “scratching his balls” while sitting on the couch. He claimed he pushed her out of the door as a matter of self defense.The deputy determined the balls were in Shalamar’s court as Ronald didn’t have any visible injuries but Shalamar had a scratch on her leg which was consistent with her account the incident.

In this situation, the woman is 100% at fault, there is no question about it. You mean to tell me that a man cannot scratch his own testicles on his own couch in his own home? There is nothing more sacred, nothing more intimate, than the time a man spends alone with his boys. Al Bundy brought sitting on the couch with your hand down your pants mainstream on television classic “Married…With Children” and showed the world that in you’re castle, you are the king, so if you want to scratch your nuts go right ahead. Plus, we men never complain when you chicks spend all day itching your titties, do we?

This guy’s name is Ron Howard? I wonder how the director feels about this.

Thus concludes another chapter of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Most Fucked Up State” for more, click the “Fucking Florida” tag on this page.