Fuck. This. Nerd. Jessie Heiman has to be the luckiest man on planet earth right now. First he gets to make out with supermodel Bar Refaeli during that Super Bowl GoDaddy commercial and now he’s making out with Maria Menounos. This probably happens to Jessie Heiman all the time now too, you know how it goes, you hook up with one hot chick and you are validated to every other jealous hot chick out there. Suddenly it becomes “What does Jessie Heiman have going for him? Why would Bar Refaeli and Maria Menounos hook up with him? I need to find out…” Hot chicks are just coming up to Jessie Heiman on the street and just tongue kissing him then pulling him into alleys for blowjobs, his sex life went from zero to Leo DiCaprio in a matter of seconds, in fact Jessie Heiman is probably getting more pussy than Leo right now.
I hate you Jessie Heiman, but god dammit do I respect you.