EliteDaily Some people just really love their cats. On Tuesday, Everett Lages took his cat love to a new level when he brought his cat to Emerald City strip club in Murdock, FL. Lages was arrested for repeatedly calling 911 after the owner prohibited him from entering the strip club with his cat, according to a Charlotte County Sheriff’s press release. When Emerald City’s owner told the 47-year-old man to leave, he sat down outside and called the cops.When the police arrived, Lages appeared intoxicated, prompting authorities to call him a taxi. Lages refused to tell the cab driver where he lived. Instead of going home, he kept calling 911 despite the police presence at the scene. Police then arrested Lages. Lages was charged with misuse of the 911 system, disorderly intoxication, trespassing after warning, and resisting arrest without violence.
Clearly the Emerald City Strip Club was already at maximum pussy capacity and thus could not allow a cat in the front door. I need to know what Everett Lages motivation for bringing his disgusting cat into the strip club was? Did he hope the strippers were going to think his cat was cute and would give him free lap dances? Did he think his cat needed to hear a little “Cherry Pie” by and see some titties? Either way cats are fucking gross and the last thing I need is one of them sinking its claws into my boner after a lap dance from a 19 year old Floridian with serious daddy issues because it mistakes it for a scratching post. Patrons will end up with both crabs and fleas. Get that shit outta here.
Thus concludes another episode of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Most Fucked Up State” for more, click the “Fucking Florida” tag on this page.