Bradenton.com A man hoping to make a good impression with his date was charged with petit theft for allegedly stealing beer, wine and steaks from Walmart, according to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office. About 5 p.m. Monday, James Flenniken, 48, was observed by a loss prevention officer taking the items worth $79.30 at Walmart, 8498 Without being questioned, Flenniken said he took the items in order to “impress a lady,” according to the sheriff’s office.Flenniken, charged with petit theft-shoplifting, is being held without bond at the Manatee County jail.
Fucking Florida, where the power of the almighty pussy will force a broke man to steal from a Walmart. James Flenniken had just met a hot piece of ass and wanted to get laid, but he didn’t have any money, so he had to resort to stealing steak, beer and wine to increase his odds. The way I see it he is like the male dog from “Lady and The Tramp” he is just using his abilities he acquired on the street to try to bang an uptown girl. If I’m the cop, I look the other way, and tell Flenniken “You take the booze, you take the steaks, and you bang her and bang her hard. Here’s a tip, go steal some flowers from a graveyard, it will increase your odds even more.”
Thus concludes another episode of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Most Fucked Up State” for more, click the “Fucking Florida” tag on this page.