Gothamist People take their Sunday night television dramas very seriously and not everyone will walk away from an episode feeling the same way you do, but holy hell that is not a reason to shoot them in the back with a rifle! Which is exactly what 26-year-old Long Island man Jared Gurman is accused of doing to his girlfriend after watching the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead on Sunday. According to reports Gurman and his girlfriend began arguing on Sunday night after the hit AMC zombie drama ended. Apparently the couple disagreed as to the plausibility of a real life zombie outbreak. “He feels strongly about the possibility that some military mishap could occur. She thinks it’s ridiculous,” Nassau County Detective Lt. Raymond Cote explained. “She was not taking him seriously or taking the show as seriously as he does.” Upset over the argument, the girlfriend left (if only they’d just watched Homeland), but continued to fight over text messages. Finally, concerned over Gurman’s mental state, she returned to the apartment to calm him down. But when she arrived the zombie believer was outside with a .22 caliber rifle. “She tried to diffuse the situation and calm him down and told him, ‘Let’s just go to bed,'” Cote said. The victim walked up the stairs to the apartment when Gurman pointed the rifle and fired one round into the middle of her back, police said. “The rifle went off accidentally,” Gurman’s attorney, Edward L. Lieberman, said after the arraignment in First District Court in Hempstead. Around 2:40 a.m. Gurman took the 26-year-old young woman to the Long Island Jewish Medical Center where she is still in stable condition (despite still having a bullet in her body). Gurman, meanwhile, was promptly arrested and charged with attempted murder. He was since ordered jailed without bail.
Fucking nerds, they take their shows so seriously, and if you disagree with them they will literally shoot you.
I would say that Jared Gurman probably hallucinated and thought his girlfriend was a zombie in a fit of paranoid rage, but he would probably fire back with, “Inaccurate! You must sever the brain stem if she turns into a zombie, duh! I was trying to murder her!” In typical nerd fashion and incriminate himself.
I got news for you Jared Gurman, you’d better hit the weights and start a cardio program while you are in prison, or you’ll be zombie chow in no time when the apocalypse hits.