Huffington Post Police say that Abraham Andres Luna,30, sprinted naked around a golf course and crashed into a patrol car as he eluded authorities on a bizarre chase, WTSP reports. Authorities in Tarpon Springs were alerted to a suspected streaker prancing around wearing only construction boots at the Tarpon Springs Golf Course Monday evening. Police responded, but the naked man slipped by. Later that night, deputies gave chase to a white van driven by a still-naked Luna, but called off the pursuit when the vehicle crossed county lines. At approximately 4:30 a.m. on Tuesday, Luna — still naked, obviously — decided to take a pit stop at a 7-Eleven in Holiday, where he allegedly punched the store clerk in the face,TBO reports. That’s when Luna reportedly bolted from the scene,heading north in the southbound lanes of U.S. 19, according to MyFoxTampaBay. He allegedly sideswiped a police cruiser in his attempt to flee. Police say that Luna then jumped out of the van — yes, naked — and made a run for it by foot. Police arrested Luna and presumably forced him to put some clothes on. “A smart man would’ve stopped,” he later said, according to Bay News 9. “I thought I could get away. Who gets away from 20 cops?” Luna faces a slew of charges, including attempted auto burglary, aggravated assault, battery, aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer, reckless driving, and resisting without violence.
Fucking Florida! Your police force cannot capture a nude guy who is running around the golf course in just construction boots before he assaults a 7-11 clerk? As our fine Floridian Friend Patrick Townshend told police earlier this week:
I think I know why Florida police were not able to capture Abraham Andres Luna, look at the charges, he wasn’t drunk! Floridian cops are used to dealing with meth using drunks, which have to be easier to capture than a sober naked lunatic in construction boots.
And thus concludes another episode of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Most Fucked Up State.” For lots more, click on the “Fucking Florida” tag on this page.