Huffington Post Florence Taylor of Nottinghamshire, England,was riding home on a mobility scooter earlier this week when the rogue critter jumped aboard and latched its teeth into her leg, News.com.au reports. The ferocious ferret held on for two minutes while she hit it with her walking stick. “It was like something from a horror film,” Taylor told the Mirror. “My neighbor came to help and it finally ran off. The blood was pouring out.” The woman was taken to a local hospital, where she received antibiotics and a tetanus shot.Taylor says police only laughed at the incident and are refusing to investigate. “I’m too scared to even leave my home in case it attacks me again,” the grandmother of 10 told the Sun. “After all, it’s got a taste for my blood now.”
I’m not buying this old broad’s story. Ferrets are not indigenous to England, so if she was attacked by one, it was an escaped pet. This would be like me saying “I’m afraid of walking under the trees in Central Park because of the killer koalas.” I’m guessing she is embararassed about what really happened and she made the story up, like swerved to avoid a hedgehog and fell off of her scooter. Now she’s just trashing ferrets in the media.
(P.S. – Doesn’t Florence Taylor sound like the lady version on Lawrence Taylor? Like, if they dressed L.T. up in drag on a Saturday Night Live sketch, that would totally be his name.)
I love how she won’t leave the house because of the ferret “with a taste for blood” like its a man-eating leopard. Ferrets weigh 4 pounds. You should be more afraid of the killer bunnies from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” than a ferret.