Metro Fifty wild elephants went on a drunken rampage after downing 18 containers of mahua, a powerful alcoholic brew, in India. The trunk and disorderly mammals ransacked a shop, three houses and ruined crops in the eastern village of Dumurkota, India. Police say the gang of over-the-limit tuskers downed more than 500litres of moonshine alcohol, managing to drink the place dry in a matter of minutes. The unruly mob demolished dozens of houses in their desperate hunt for more booze after hoovering up the hard stuff in record time. Local police officer Asish Samanat said the drunken elephants were more ‘aggressive’ than usual after their mammoth drinking session.’Unfortunately these animals live in close proximity to man and they recognised the smell of the drink,’ he explained. ‘They were like any other drunk -aggressive and unreasonable but much, much bigger.’ Police and villagers eventually restored order by herding the elephants over a local river back to their normal migration route. Officer Samanat added: ‘They’ll have one heck of a hangover.’
The idea of a group of liquored up frat boy elephants running wild and trashing India cracks me up.
They have a beer pong tournament (where they flick basketballs with their trunks into garbage cans) have a few too many drinks. One of them ends up getting tipsy and stumbling into a hut, crushing it, the other frat boy elephants are nearby busting his balls. One of them passes around a joint, they get the munchies, they eat all of the nearby crops to the dismay of the locals.
One of them wakes up after a blackout the next morning, rolls over and is is horrified to see he fucked a hippo, does the elephant walk of shame home.
His frat brothers start to heckle him, “You fucked that hippo again last night, didn’t you?” He lies to defend himself, “No! No! I met a new lioness, she was so hot! I’m done with that hippo…”
That’s the Animal Planet documentary I want to see.