The “Girlfriend Body Pillow” is an item available at SEARS marketed towards lonely men with the following description, taken verbatim from the website:
“Do your wife’s business trips make you unease at bed time? Perhaps the fact that you don’t have her around to shares your dreams makes it harder for you to fall sleep. This comfortable pillow recreates the comfort of having your beloved partner. Thinking about the fact of sleeping alone produce a isolated feeling, especially if you are used to have a soft and comfortable arm or maybe you are enjoy a better sleep when you locate your neck in your girlfriend or wife’s breast. This hug pillow has an extension that replicates the soft arm of your partner and also adds a breast-like sensation on the pillow, giving all the contour of your love one. Your days of uncomfortable nights are over. Whether your wife is away working or you broke up with your girlfriend, this hug pillow will maintain the comfort of your sleep. The Girlfriend Pillow imitates the contour of your loved one at your side while you sleep.”
Every man I know loves it when their significant other is out of town for the night. It is on these magical nights when we get to do our favorite things on the planet:
Go out with the guys, get drunk, watch the game. Stare at the ass of the 19 year old hostess at the bar, go home and beat off to internet porn, starfish in the middle of the bed and pass out.
The last thing a man needs is a creepy, headless, one armed pillow with tits in bed next to him. Sleeping next to the “Girlfriend Body Pillow” would be buying a one way ticket to Nightmare City.
The market for this thing consists of only two groups of people, serial killers, and guys who are going to cut a hole in the bottom to try to fuck it. There should seriously be a “Fleshlight” attached to this pillow, or a “Fleshlight Compartment” with the disclaimer in fine print: (fleshlight sold separately). Nice creepy invention, weirdos.