Huffington Post Police in Wisconsin have accused a 46 year old man of enjoying curbside sex with a discarded sofa. Waukesha Patch reports that an off-duty officer was jogging when he spotted Gerard Streator allegedly doing the deed with the furniture. Authorities charged Streator on Thursday with one count of lewd and lascivious behavior, which carries a maximum of nine months in prison. According to a police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, officer Ryan Edwards said Streator “had been thrusting his pelvic area against the cushions and trying to sexually gratify himself by rubbing his penis between the two cushions.”
That must have been one sexy couch, probably all velvety with some floral print, there was simply no way Gerard Streator could resist.
Note to self: Sex with an inanimate object in a public place rarely ends well.
One question remains: If Gerard Streater knocked up the chair, what would their offspring be? An Ottoman?