TCPalm A man being questioned in a DUI investigation smelled of booze and told deputies he’s “not taking no sobriety test.” “I done seen it on the MythBusters,” Dustan Edward Carpenter, 35, is quoted as saying Sept. 12. A St. Lucie County Sheriff’s deputy stopped Carpenter shortly after 11 p.m. after spotting his Ford Focus traveling on Okeechobee Road without the headlights on, a recently released affidavit states. Carpenter, of Auburndale, initially said he was coming from Applebee’s and had one beer. He had slurred, mumbled speech and bloodshot eyes. Carpenter said he’s “not taking no sobriety test, I done seen it on the MythBusters.” MythBusters is a Discovery Channel program that “aims to uncover the truth behind popular myths and legends by mixing scientific method with gleeful curiosity and plain old-fashioned ingenuity to create a signature style of experimentation,” its website states.
Very creative attempt by Dustin Edward Carpenter here. Seeing a myth proved on “Mythbusters” should be admissible as evidence in court. If you are ever pulled over for suspicion of DUI the rules are:
1) Never say you’ve had a drink, even if you have. You’re probably busted anyway. Deny it.
2) Refuse all tests, thus thinning out the amount booze in your blood stream.
There is never any reason to do anything else, and as I said, you are likely already screwed. Hit the “The More You Know” jingle.
Only in Fucking Florida would a guy use “Mythbusters” as the reason why he was refusing sobriety tests while drunk driving home from an Applebee’s.
Thus concludes another tale from Florida, America’s most fucked up state. For more stories from Florida, click the “Fucking Florida” tag.