Huffington Post Thomas Edwin March IV knows all the elements of a rockin’ party — but he made one big mistake. The 51-year-old Florida man had the essentials: a pair of 3D glasses, three 20-ounce cans of Ice House beer, a smashed cheeseburger, and a laptop (possibly to blast a little Bob Seger). Party time. But he got arrested because he was allegedly naked, and Bunche Beach isn’t a nude beach. The News-Press reports that passersby started complaining about March on Friday morning after they observed him with his party pack lying on a bench.
A responding deputy asked what March was doing naked with a cheeseburger, but his only response was to remind the officer not to forget his laptop when he was arrested.
Thomas Edwin March IV did everything right. He had his laptop, his 3-D glasses, three refreshing 20 ounce Icehouse cans. He even had a delicious “smashed cheeseburger” to snack on, he was ready for and end of summer beach party that would put the Labor Day weekend bashes in Manasquan, New Jersey to shame. Finally, the ultimate form of relaxation, no pants. So he’s just hanging out with his wang out, and the cops come and hassle him? Absurd! I thought this was America?
Thus concludes another installment in “Fucking Florida!” For more strange tales from America’s most fucked up state, click the tag.