Huffington Post A lab tech at Georgia Health Sciences University may have engaged in too much monkey business. Officials jailed Coley Mitchell, 32, on August 13 after he was discovered intoxicated with his pants down in a campus locker room. In the same room: two lab monkeys who had been let out of their cages, the Augusta Chronicle reported. Mitchell smelled of alcohol, according to police reports, and became belligerent and combative when asked to leave the room.
So Coley Mitchell goes out drinking, whiffs his way down the bar skank ladder, but still wants to get laid. He then realizes that he has access to monkeys, decides to try to fuck one, and the monkeys got loose. He couldn’t catch them before he was arrested. Didn’t even have time to put his pants back on. There is no doubt that’s what happened, right?
He is just lucky these monkeys didn’t rip his dick off or give him AIDS, because as rumor goes AIDS started when some guy in Africa fucked a monkey.
Dude, go home and beat off if you strike out at the bar, trying to rape a monkey is never the answer. Unless it’s a really hot monkey.