The Gothamist A pipe which transports raw sewage (human Shit) burst in Westchester, causing MILLIONS of gallons of wastewater to dump into the Hudson River. To make matters worse, the First Ever New York City Ironman Triathalon is tomorrow, which features you guessed it, a 2.4 mile swim in the Hudson. Race organizers are currently debating if they will need to cancel the swim portion of the race, but health officials say chlorine is being added to the waste water and by the time it reaches the city “it should be fine.”
Well ain’t this some shit? Listen I wouldn’t get into the Hudson River under any circumstance, I think that water is radioactive, and I would find out I had no testicles (or huge testicles) as I was toweling off. Maybe I’d have a kick ass superpower afterward, but its not worth the risk.
However now we know that the water is literally full of human shit. What are the odds that a contestants in the iron man looks over and sees a floating log next to him like the famous “Baby Ruth” scene from “Caddyshack”? DOODY!
I like the vote of confidence that the city sanitation official gives by the time the shitwater reaches the city, “It should be fine.” Now I feel better, thanks dude.
I say they move the race to the Gowanas Canal: