I ride the subway every day, and am amazed how inconsiderate some commuters (and tourists, especially tourists) are to their fellow subway riders.
One of the worst offenders of subway douchebaggery are a special group of pole leaners that I have dubbed “Asspoles”. These are the especially inconsiderate group of asshole subway riders who lean against a pole backwards to the point where the pole penetrates their asscrack. This practice renders the subway pole useless to all other patrons, because they have no access to the pole, which the pole leaner has engulfed with their entire back including their ass. There is nowhere for a fellow commuter to get a grip, because some part of the offending “asspole” is touching every part of the subway pole, forcing the other commuters to risk standing with no means of anchoring or support.
This practice is also extremely unsanitary, reports have shown that nearly every subway pole in New York City is covered in germs, including human fecal matter. I’m sure some of this is caused by pole leaners who insist on jamming subway poles up their rectum.
If elected Mayor of New York City, one of my first orders of business will be to outlaw “Ass Polling” and make it known that repeat offenders will be shot on sight. It’s time to get medieval on these clowns and let them know that this behavior will no longer be tolerated. The habit not only inconsiderate but unsanitary, and must be stopped post haste! Can I count on your vote?
Unfortunately I have yet to see an “Asspole” offense as egregious as this:
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