Breaking News: Former major league baseball player Elijah Dukes has again been arrested in Tampa Bay.
This time the troubled former Tampa Bay and Washington outfielder was pulled over by Tampa police, who noticed flakes of marijuana on his shirt, then caught him trying to swallow a bag of the controlled substance.
Dukes, just 27 years old, has been arrested dozens of times got assault, drug possession and battery. A talented third round pick by the Tampa Bay Rays, he hit a home run in his first major league at bat in 2007, but was suspended many times for violating team rules and arguing with coaches and umpires.
The Rays traded Dukes to the Washington Nationals in 2008, where in just 276 at bats, he hit 13 home runs, with 44 RBIs and stole 13 bases (likely teammates ipods as well). While with the Nationals, the team hired an ex police officer to follow him around at all times.
Dukes also fathered at least five children with four different women between 2003 and 2006. He has hereby arrested multiple times for failure to pay child support.
His most notorious incident occurred in 2007, after his wife obtained a restraining order against him, Dukes sent her a picture message of a gun accompanied by the following voicemail:
“Hey, dawg. It’s on. You dead, dawg. I ain’t even bullshiting. Your kids too, dawg. It don’t even matter to me who is in the car with you, (N-Word). All I know is, (N-Word) when I see your motherfucking ass riding, dawg, it’s on!”
Other incidents include impregnating a 17 year old foster child of one of his relatives, then pegging her with a gatorade bottle when she told him she was pregnant (the sex was consentual) and assaulting another pregnant girlfriend last year. To nobody’s surprise, Dukes is now attempting to become a gangster rapper, named Fly Eli.
This story has it all: erratic behavior, multiple pregnancies, drugs, aspiring rap career, memorable quotes, incidents on the field and off. Honestly I was going to wait until this site was up and running full steam, but I can’t help myself. It’s Time.
Elijah Dukes, congratulations! You are the inaugural member of the Sportsmasher.com Criminal/Athlete Hall of Fame!
I know I should feel bad to see such a talented athlete go so far off the deep end, throw away all his talent, and hurt the many women and children in his life. Sadly it has quite the opposite effect on me.
I get goosebumps whenever I see the name Elijah Dukes in the headlines and I rush to read the story, because I know it will be amazing, and he never fails. He produces in the legal system for both average and power, like the Willie Mays of thugs. Just an all time great in every aspect of the athlete/criminal game, five tool criminal, first ballot hall of famer unanimously.
Also, I’d like to personally thank Dukes for the “Hey dawg, you dead dawg, I ain’t even playing dogg” series of quotes, which has given my friends and I countless hours of entertainment. It works in any betting situation, any gambling situation, anytime someone busts your balls. It’s the untimate comeback.
So again, Elijah “Fly Eli” Dukes, congratulations! You are the inagural member of the Sportsmasher.com Criminal/Athlete Hall of Fame! From all of us here on staff, “You dead, dawg!”