Update: The Texas Rangers have hired an assistant, named Shayne Kelley, to “support” Josh Hamilton. Kelley will also assist hitting coach Scott Coolbaugh and other members of the coaching staff with their duties.
This makes it official, just as I predicted last week, Josh Hamilton’s recent relapse is 100% former starting pitcher C.J. Wilson’s fault. Wilson, a non-drinker and member of the God-Squad, was the “supporter” of Josh Hamilton. He left this off season for a huge contract with the Angels (fitting) and coincidentally Hamilton relapses right away. C.J. Wilson is guilty of greed, one of the seven deadly sins, and has sold his soul to the devil.
I know nothing about this Shayne Kelley character, except that he is w graduate from the University of Alabama, and likely lied during his interview. Kelley is best case a drunk redneck, like everyone else from Alabama, and worst case a meth head, like half of Alabama. Hamilton is in trouble.
As a Yankee fan I am spoiled, and have always wanted to see Hamilton in pinstripes, however New York City is historically a bad place for anyone with vices. I’ll tell you what Brian Cashman, go get Hamilton, and I’ll take the job of “Hamilton-Support.” Not in the traditional, good influence way, of course. I’ll go out with Hamilton every single night, I’ll rip every shot, I’ll take every lap dance.
If you’ve ever seen that scene in “Get Him to the Greek” where the Jonah Hill character is trying to keep the Russell Brand character sober before The Today Show, I volunteer to do this full time to keep Mr. Hamilton sober in pinstripes, and I won’t bolt for the big bucks like that dirtbag C.J Wilson (I’ll just need $500k a year, you’re the Yankees, you print you’re own money, no big deal). The offer is on the table Cashman, post your response in the comments field.