BREAKING NEWS: ESPN.com is reporting that Texas Rangers All-Star Outfielder Josh Hamilton has again relapsed with alcohol. Hamilton has battled drug and alcohol addictions throughout his career, and has reportedly been clean and sober since the incident pictured above, where he was photographed drinking with co-eds in a Tempe, Arizona bar. The details are sketchy, but apparantly Hamilton was drinking in a bar on Monday night.
Josh, as Tupac once said, “I ain’t mad at ‘cha.” You’re a grown man who is worth tens of millions of dollars, and it must suck that anytime you want to have a beer some jackass can snap a picture with his iPhone and BOOM, stories like this are popping up on ESPN. As long as you are not shooting heroin in the back of a tattoo shop again, you are doing something that is totally legal, and how can you resist Arizona State sluts? Maybe it’s stupid of you, but I want details here, having a beer in a bar (or locker room if you’re on the Red Sox) with your teammates is not a crime, and it’s not a relapse. If you saw the amount of drinking I plan on doing this weekend, especially on Super Bowl Sunday, and I was remotely famous people would be posting pictures. (P.S. Let’s make it happen. Like us on facebook, follow us on twitter, I’ll post pictures of me drunk). Josh as long as you we’re just boozing it up you should be fine, maybe it’s not the brightest idea for you given your past, but you are allowed to party. Unless there is blow, meth and Lindsay Lohan involved (and I don’t care about that, but some would) you should be fine here. My recommendation, get an elaborate disguise when you want to drink in public, or throw ragers at your huge house and nobody finds out.
You know who is to blame here? Former Rangers pitcher and religious-freak C.J Wilson, who left the team for big bucks with the Angels this offseason. (I think C.J. just went to the Angels because they have the best name for a God-Freak) C.J. is a altar boy who doesn’t drink and prays all day, so he was on Hamilton-Bodyguard duty at all times. He bolted for the cash, and now Hamilton is suddenly going ape-shit at clubs again, this cannot be a coincidence. I hope that when C.J. gets to The Pearly Gates, Saint Peter says,”too bad you let greed get the best of you, which forced you’re buddy Hamilton back on the crystal meth, see you in hell” and pulls that lever. Greed is a deadly sin C.J., shame on you.